Hemantha Kalam - 60 "Abbreviations and Acronyms matter too"

HTHDYFIO?

While you are trying to make out something out of the above gibberish, let me quickly say what I wanted to and scoot.

My last blog was on ‘Language Matters’ and I feel that it is not unfair to write a sequel to it, er sort of. So here it goes.

Thanks to the abbreviated COVID 19 (Corona Virus Disease 2019) the internet and social media is agog with debates on what is Endemic, Epidemic and Pandemic!

Leaving the world to continue with what they wish to, I had to do more vital duties like accompanying my wife to a famous and popular hospital for her health-check up. Now the issue is that her favourite doctor is now the Vice Chancellor of the Medical University which also has a hospital.

Till sometime ago, we used to meet him at his clinic but apparently after his elevation, he has given the clinic a go by and seeing VIPs (very important patients) such as my wife at the hospital itself (no wonder he is ‘God’ to my wife).

Now to keep up the appointment, we went to the hospital and started asking whomever we could stop and ask - right from the security at the gate, till we could register, as to where the Vice Chancellor be sitting and where we can meet him.

People scratched their scalps, caressed their beards, grown or un-grown, harrumphed, grunted and put out empty smiles, but trust me, no one could guess it and answered. And then there was this young student on the way to college who said she never heard of him or her! J (ABBHH – aise bhi batein hote hain – things like that do happen). I am only worried that my future health and well being are to be in such hands!

Finally at the registration counter, I repeated the same question and as insurance I also added his name. Then the lady at the counter said ‘Oh you have an appointment with the VC? You should tell me like that!”

It dawned on me how intellectually stooped I am, before the new generation’s whiz kids who think of knowing everything! I should have realised it when they have abbreviated an already abbreviated OK to K. So, many a time, when you receive a K K K on your WhatsApp, Twitter or Instagram messages, it’s their way of saying OK OK OK, I learnt the hard way. If you thought the other side is giggling and cackling, nothing could be more wrong. They are simply busy in saving effort and time. Cool or Chill dude!

By the way, in my times, a dude is a guy who used to dress nattily. Now gals are guys, pretty and well dressed girls are dudes and what not? LGBTQ concepts making linguistic overtures, that’s all?

Coming back to the receptionist, I felt like giving her all the grawlix and obscenicons that I could remember. While that wouldn’t have been possible verbally, I am sure that she would not understand or care even if she understood the same. After all, she is from the new-gen too.

Talking about the new-gen, my die hard new-gen fan would be knitting her brows when she is reading this in some time from now (trying to suppress her giggle though) and pretend to get angry with me to raise cudgels against me on this! J After all, I do take it as my responsibility, sometimes, to humour my readers too.

So, finally, after seeing the VC, we were asked to get several tests done and see him the next day with the results.

So the next day, when we went to the hospital more learned than ever and armed with the tests, that  resulted out of generous blood donation by my dear wife, the VC could not meet us as he was in a surgery and we have been directed to meet a HoCS! Now, the dumb guy that I am, I could make out what is HoD (Head of the Department – after all, all my life I had to deal with them till I myself could become one) but try as I may, couldn’t figure out what HoCS stood for. Now it was my turn to scratch my balding head and my unkempt beard (as always). Finally on meeting the doctor I could make out that HoCS stands for Head of Clinical Services! Phew! What divine knowledge!? I am eternally grateful for that night’s peaceful sleep!

But I am on my guard. The new-gen whiz kids are churning out more and more such As & As!

Now, HTHDYFIO?

Got it folks? I am also trying to fit into the doings of the new-gen!

HTHDYFIO? It is, How the hell do you figure it out!

Pray, do add your own or if not, share your thoughts on this, if you could figure them out! J

Till then, 

Krutagjnatalu (Telugu), Nanri (Tamil), Dhanyavaadagalu (Kannada), Nanni (Malayalam), Dhanyavaad (Hindi), Dhanyosmi (Sanskrit), Thanks (English), Dhonyavaad (Bangla), Dhanyabad (Oriya), Gracias (Spanish), Grazie (Italian), Danke Schon (Deutsche), Merci (French), Obrigado (Portuguese), Shukraan (Arabic), Shukriya (Urdu), Bohoma Sthuthiyi (Sinhalese) Aw-koon (Khmer), Kawp Jai Lhai Lhai (Laotian), Kob Kun Krab (Thai),Asante (Kiswahili), Maraming Salamat sa Lahat (Pinoy-Tagalog-Filipino), Tack (Swedish), Fa'afetai (Samoan), Terima Kasih (Bahasa Indonesian) and Tenkyu (Tok Pisin of Papua New Guinea).

Hemantha Kumar Pamarthy

Chennai, India