Hemantha Kalam - 44 Gain'Full' - 2017!

In about an hour, the Christian year 2017 will be coming to an end and 2018 would be starting. So I was toying with a few ideas to write a blog which, for quite a long time, I haven’t written, as this year had been quiet eventful for me. I had suffered more losses this year than in any year after I started opening up to this world.

However, I have always been accused of being a ‘Devil’s Advocate’ as, by an innate gift, I can smell trouble before it can start and warn the consequences resulting in my being branded as a negative thinking and negative spreading man. So, for a change, I thought I shall write this blog of mine, only gainfully. My attempt is as below.

The whole of the year;

I ‘Gained’ at least an average of 200 ‘Good Morning’ messages every day on my ‘WhatsApp’ though I had to lose both my storage space on the mobile and at least one to two hours every day to remove these messages. Another ‘Gain say’ from this exercise is that I started receiving the ‘Good Morning’ messages mostly from people who never cared a tuppence for me in the normal day-to-day life. I also gained some messages from rank strangers.

I notice that Dr. Batra’s ‘Gained’ entry into my privacy, through at least two text messages on SMS, at an average, every week and sometimes days, assuring to take care of my balding head, while I was totally at a loss as to how I can let them know that I have not been bald in the first place and presently whatever balding is happening, most of it is due to my pulling hair in finding ways to prevent messages from Dr. Batra. I have to say that barring serious legal action, there does not appear to be a way around, as they seem to be ‘gainfully’ shameless in their efforts and the onslaught continues unabated. It is as if that Dr. Batra’s has decided to make the whole country bald first, before starting on whatever their treatment is all about.

I was ‘Gaining’ at least 3 calls every day from HDFC Bank and one from AXIS Bank offering me Credit Cards, Insurance and Personal Loans, and they were at a loss to deal with me as I have reached an age where they can offer me none. Yet, these banks have been ‘Gainfully’ employing someone or the other to keep calling me because they have my mobile number on their roster and all of us are at a loss to find a solution as to how to get rid of each other.

I also ‘Gain’ from intruding but tantalising Escort Service messages, which I am embarrassingly at a loss to find ways in hiding from the knowledge of my wife and more importantly from my growing daughters.

I 'Gain' at least a dozen calls offering me attractive offers on club memberships, appeals for supporting ailing patients, adopted children, blood donations and what not, leaving me many a time at a loss and distraught for genuinely being helpless.  

I see the continuous 'Gaining' of such calls and messages on a daily basis, in volleys, as I am continuously at a loss to know as to how these promo-senders and promo-callers are able to attack me despite my mobile phone number being listed under 'DO NOT DISTURB'.

I continue ‘Gaining’ any amount of moral tidbits and videos out of which, honestly, not more than 1% are interesting and the rest of all only result in loss of time in viewing, saving and erasing. While saving some of them to my desktop I surely 'Gain' the videos but lose space on the hard disk of my desk top computer. As a professional consultant who charges his clients by the hour, I am really at a loss to find out from whom I can ‘gain’ this losing time and the resultant loss in income.

On a daily basis I 'Gain' as a double whammy when posters send me messages separately and also post the same messages in groups too. I am at a loss to find ways of conveying to them and convincing them that they are making fools of themselves and myself in the bargain when I give no consent for that.

(As a result, I have for the past one week decided not to forward any messages on WhatsApp except to my immediate family members. Now I have to see if any outsiders 'Gain' entry to this elite club of 'my immediate family members')

I have ‘Gained’ considerable amount of head-ache in filing my monthly GST returns while losing at least 3-4 productive days in a month answering queries as to why I am spending, on whom and what I am spending my hard earned money upon (mind you I am in a democratic country) and whether the receiving parties are also registered under GST and if not why GST payable by them should not be covered by me etc., etc.

I have ‘Gained’ a short-term teaching assignment while I had to actually lose an opportunity to present my findings, in a paper I helped write on the ‘Small Scale Farmers in the Lower Mekong Region Countries’, at a World Bank forum, at that Mecca of all Indian Dreamers - Washington DC of the US of A. Yes, No less!

I have ‘Gained’ a couple of minor consultancies this year while I had to lose at least four important and major consultancies.

I have 'Gained' visiting two new countries, but lost opportunities to visit a couple of old ones that I had to visit for ‘gainful’ employment.

I have to confess that due to this, I have ‘Gained’ more free time though lost a good amount of possible income.

Recently, on a visit to Jaipur on business, I was forced to ‘gain’ the knowledge, with a considerable amount of loss of face, that Hindi could not have been my mother tongue or first or second or even third language, in school.

I have ‘Gained’ demand for a residential plot that I own and wanted to sell, but the prices fell thanks to the demonetisation last year and the fear of transparency in land dealings and tightening of various regulations, leading to losses from the expected ‘gains’.

I earnestly looked out to ‘Gain’ a good tenant for my apartment but still am at a loss to clinch a deal.

I continue ‘Gaining’ bondage with my 13 year old car (In fact, recently when the petrol lid cap door became rusted and fell off, I had to hold it by bonding with a double tape) as I am at a loss to find the wherewithal to buy a decent new car.

Talking about cars, I ‘Gained’ money and some intriguing experiences, by using the Ola and Uber cabs, especially the pool / share facilities, though I did have to lose considerable time in going around the city in circles, yet 'gaining' on learning of some hitherto unknown places that evaded and eluded me in all these years of my stay in Chennai and other places in India that I frequent.

I have ‘Gained’ wonderful memories to be retained of, as I have lost my father’s cousins ‘P. L. Narayana’ and ‘Ganduri Rajasurya’ (passed away today), my dear friends ‘C. Ravindranath’ (s/o the famous Telugu film actor late Nagabhushanam and my class mate since kindergarten) ‘G. Shashibhushan’, ‘Bandit Sisoukda’ - guys who helped me immensely, my favourite film actors, Vinod Khanna and Shashi Kapoor during the year.

This also has been a year where I have been blessed to ‘Gain’ an opportunity to serve my ailing father in his last days, only to lose him in the battle finally. This left me and others in our family tearful, yet ‘gainful’ to cherish the void and absence with his wonderful memories and the courage that he bestowed upon me by his way of upbringing, for continuing this life without his physical presence.

I notice that I am also ‘Gaining’ on my years and steadily losing my good health and that it augurs well to write a “positive blog” like this one before I am totally written off as a total loss or a negative person, forever. J

Now my dear friends and readers, please do tell me; has the year not been “Gain’Full’ – 2017”? At least, for me?

Yeah? Well, folks, what say you? Do let me know, please! 

Till then, 

Krutagjnatalu (Telugu), Nanri (Tamil), Dhanyavaadagalu (Kannada), Nanni (Malayalam), Dhanyavaad (Hindi), Dhanyosmi (Sanskrit), Thanks (English), Dhonyavaad (Bangla), Dhanyabad (Oriya and Nepalese), Gracias (Spanish), Grazie (Italian), Danke Schon (Deutsche), Merci (French), Obrigado (Portuguese), Shukraan (Arabic and Sudanese), Shukriya (Urdu), Sthoothiy (Sinhalese) Aw-koon (Khmer), Kawp Jai Lhai Lhai (Laotian), Kob Kun Krab (Thai), Asante (Kiswahili), Maraming Salamat sa Lahat (Pinoy-Tagalog-Filipino), Tack (Swedish), Fa'afetai (Samoan), Terima Kasih (Bahasa Indonesian) and Tenkyu (Tok Pisin of Papua New Guinea), Malo (Tongan), Vinaka Vaka Levu (Fijian),

Hemantha Kumar Pamarthy

Chennai, India